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Post by White Lightning on Jan 11, 2010 13:29:44 GMT -4
Jessie is right. Talking to others, even if its online, is the best thing to do. And don't think you're alone. You have us to turn too for support. I deal with depression every day, and sometimes it gets so bad that I view myself as a mistake of human kind and a complete monster. Wanna know how I fight that feeling? Talking about it to my father or friends. They reasure me that I'm perfect the way I am.
Z, I know how hard it is, and you CAN NOT let this world drag you so far under untill you wish to end your life in vain. Fight it with all you got. Even if you do it alone, you CAN do this. You always told me the same thing, and like you always say...Everything is possible. You have to belive and fight it with your own will.
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Post by CartoonDork on Jan 11, 2010 18:53:42 GMT -4
Well jeez. I really suck at advice, especially with something as serious as this, considering I haven't even had any similar experiences. I--I guess just follow the advice of the members who posted above me, and remember that we're all here for you, Z.
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Zero
Prime
All things are possible...
Posts: 3,921
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Post by Zero on Jan 11, 2010 23:35:41 GMT -4
Yeah, I have seen a doctor, and I talk to my irl friends as often as I can. They've been very supportive.
I try to get as many opinions and viewpoints as I can, taking what I can use and ignoring what doesn't suit me well. My young friends often come across pompous(they obviously have no idea what they're talking about), but my older friends are so much more respectful, using their own experiences as examples.
I maintain my calm demeanor, but have been able to express my thoughts and feeling clearly, and without fear. It feels better to be able to be so open, but the depression goes on.
Mostly I've been stewing in feelings of anger and betrayal.
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Post by Zoomer on Jan 13, 2010 17:28:04 GMT -4
You need to find the sources of your feelings, and confront them, though it seems like you're doing a good job of that already.
I know by know how you feel about drugs, but consider that it might be partly due to a physical change, triggered by the emotions (which is fairly common).
Clinical depression can be triggered any time by such occurrences.
Just throwing that out there to consider, though I'm sure with time you'll sort things out on your own.
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Zero
Prime
All things are possible...
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Post by Zero on Jan 13, 2010 19:28:58 GMT -4
There are multiple sources actually. Work, control in my life... and girls(which is particularly embarrassing for me), all of which contribute to my lack of confidence.
I'm not in the mood to say much more today.
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Zero
Prime
All things are possible...
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Post by Zero on Jan 18, 2010 17:27:45 GMT -4
I had an episode Saturday. I curled into a fetal position and laid on the floor for about 15 to 20 minutes. In those few moments I considered getting medication. I just fell apart.
Suddenly, I forced my self up. "Get up. Get up.", I kept telling myself "It's not over. You're still alive. You can still win."
Today, my mood is improved despite no change in my situation.
I fight on.
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Post by sonicheroes4ever on Jan 18, 2010 21:27:55 GMT -4
I had an episode Saturday. I curled into a fetal position and laid on the floor for about 15 to 20 minutes. In those few moments I considered getting medication. I just fell apart. Suddenly, I forced my self up. "Get up. Get up.", I kept telling myself "It's not over. You're still alive. You can still win." Today, my mood is improved despite no change in my situation. I fight on. Yeah, good luck. Depression is hard to battle. However having hope can ease it. I know when I feel like crap and really sad, sleeping seems to help quite a bit. So good luck and hope you feel better.
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Post by jackieshay on Jan 23, 2010 18:29:19 GMT -4
I had an episode Saturday. I curled into a fetal position and laid on the floor for about 15 to 20 minutes. In those few moments I considered getting medication. I just fell apart. Suddenly, I forced my self up. "Get up. Get up.", I kept telling myself "It's not over. You're still alive. You can still win." Today, my mood is improved despite no change in my situation. I fight on. I've been experiencing what I suspect is a bit of anxiety, it's happened three nights in the last two months. What happens is at night when I begins to rest my mind will wander, if I've experienced a rather strong feeling of anger or worry for some reason I'll focus on that no matter how hard I try to think of something better. As I begin to relax for sleep I'll feel an odd and rather painful tingling sensation all up and down my body... It happened to me last night after watching a documentary that struck some serious bad emotions into me. I couldn't sleep for it, so I watch a Katt Williams comedy special and got a few laughs to take my mind off of it and I fell right to sleep and was able to focus on things that I wanted to. I think it may be blood pressure related, so I'm going to the doctor when I get a chance.
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Zero
Prime
All things are possible...
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Post by Zero on Feb 10, 2010 0:27:59 GMT -4
When I want to talk to someone and I just can't seem to contact them at all, I get depressed over that too.
I've been very lonely lately. No one seems to know what to say to console me, and that makes me feel even lonelier. It's like no one gets me, or tries to.
Someone told me last week, that I may be becoming my own worst enemy.
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Post by White Lightning on Feb 10, 2010 2:15:05 GMT -4
Some times winter can cause and up depression. It effects a lot of people, me included. Can't really explain it, though. The cold wind blowing makes me feel...alone and hopeless, and to hear it makes it worse; the dead, lifeless trees give me a feeling of emptiness.
As far as lonelyness gose, the only advice is to frequently keep in touch with someone. Answer me this: In a crowed room, do you still feel alone? Maybe thats a sign of a more...entimate kind of lonesomeness. Maybe you need a girlfriend. Its hard to get one yes, but once you have one, she just may improve the depression.
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Zero
Prime
All things are possible...
Posts: 3,921
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Post by Zero on Feb 10, 2010 3:54:02 GMT -4
...
I've been lying to myself. I always believed one didn't need a spouse to achieve true happiness. This true to a degree, but it is not good for man to continue by himself.
I do need intimacy, and I've been wanting it for a long long time. I've been resisting it, out fear, or maybe out of lack of understanding.
I've been hurt, and my self worth damaged.
My first girlfriend was childhood sweetheart. People always teased us about being love birds. Eventually we did get together, around 9th grade. Mostly it was our hormones driving us. We often found moments to be alone where we could just kiss. But she had been living a double life. She wanted me to join her, but I just couldn't do it. We would still talk often, our feelings still strong but strained. We ended up drifting apart. She ended up running away from home. Thing s have been difficult for her. To this day I regret never talking things through with her. I really did love her. If I could do it again, I would have held on to her.
I didn't think about getting a relationship for the next 5 years. Then I met a girl at my first job. She was attracted to me, oddly due to my blank view. I was the only guy not hitting on her. She was pretty. At some point she started to wait for me after work and we would walk together. We barely talked. I guess we just liked the company. One day I went out on a limb and asked if she was coming on to me. She put her arms around me and backed me into a gate. I panicked. I kept my hands in my pockets. Her face was so close to mine. I could feel the heat under my collar. But I just couldn't act on the impulse. Boy did she notice my discomfort. Before I got home, she just gave me a kiss on the cheek. We went on 1 date, which I arrived and hour late for. I went to the wrong damn train station. Even then, I couldn't bring myself to put the moves on her. She got fired. She had a mean streak in her the boss just could not tolerate. We just lost contact afterwards. I think she's in Florida now attending college. I hope she does well. She gave me some confidence back.
Months ago, I became interested in another girl I met. We shared several common interests. Anime, drawing, and story writing. I wanted to know her more. So I asked her if I could date her. Turns out she had been dumped at the alter and wasn't ready. I told her I would wait for her. She seemed grateful and agreed. I waited a for a time. I visited her. Even got her a few gifts... Then I found out she started dating someone else. She could have at least told me, so I wouldn't look like a big weird idiot! People even asked what rock I've been under, and that didn't help. At that point I completely shut down. I was angry and felt betrayed.
Now... I just don't know what to think anymore. In addition to the other stresses in my life, including losing a good job due to nepotism, that last lapse in judgment finally sent me in a tailspin into this depression.
I do need intimacy, I know I want it, but I don't think I can take the drama of getting girlfriend anymore.
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Post by White Lightning on Feb 10, 2010 12:16:32 GMT -4
When the right person comes along, you'll be ready. Its something we have to learn, Z. Even if its the hard way.
Look on the bright side. You still have a home, food, and best of all, us.
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Post by Zoomer on Feb 10, 2010 18:14:59 GMT -4
To quote a friend of mine:
"Guys are needy as F**K."
There is obviously a reason for the differences between males and females, obviously not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and from certain standpoints, spiritually as well.
Men have a strong desire for intimate relationships, whether they'll admit to it or not. Once again, not necessarily just in terms of sex and the like, but mostly emotionally.
True love, nowadays, is, quite bluntly, nearly nonexistent among the trash produced by society's media. People who are unattractive, no matter what Disney Movies might say, just don't get into relationships as much....though on that same note, any relationships they do have will probably end up being more meaningful.
Of course, that might just be me venting. Back to you>>>
Just don't worry about it at the moment, but be ready.
Two things you'll be told by various people:
-You just have to wait for the moment to happen -You have to take charge and be assertive
Remember, both are true to a degree. Depending upon the circumstances, it may not be a good idea to try opening up a connection of that kind with somebody.
....but I trust you'll know what to do in time.
I'm sorry for the long post, and it may not be relevant, but know that you're not alone. You have friends, both in real life and on the internet, whatever that may be worth to you.
Thanks for being willing to share your thoughts, and keep us posted. :I
EDIT: In no way did I mean to insinuate that you are ugly. Once again, probably me venting.....also, sorry for the threadjack.
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Zero
Prime
All things are possible...
Posts: 3,921
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Post by Zero on Feb 10, 2010 18:49:52 GMT -4
Hahaha.
I always believed that girls were emotionally fragile, but I guess guys can too. Ironically, I was watching Justice League today; and the character Vixen commented on how men have fragile egos.
Hm... I wonder what the girls here expect of a man. Not that we'd be hitting on them, but I guess all us guys can stand to learn something from the girls here... if they don't mind throwing us a bone.
Seriously, I would love that kind of insight.
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Post by Zoomer on Feb 10, 2010 19:27:43 GMT -4
Do we have an advice thread? If not, then one should be made.... <_<
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