Post by Machaeus on Jul 15, 2008 14:35:51 GMT -4
It started out as "A Passing Glance at the Mind of a Teen" and snowballed into something kinda preachy. Still, I like it, and I figured I'd share it. Just no flames, please - I put a lot of thought and work into this, even if I did write it in like half an hour.
I think I have discovered the core reason behind the sour, dark, angsty mood and demeanor of the stereotypical teenager. If not, I have at least discovered my own reasons. The reason is that it’s a mask. A shield against the slings and arrows of the mind, if you’ll pardon the Shakespeare-ism. Those slings and arrows are self-generated, and they are helplessness, fear, and (at least in my case) weakness.
What we are helpless to is the world. It goes on without a care when we’re down; it sweeps us off our feet without a thought or a pause or even so much as a gentle breaking; and it is cold, harsh, and uncaring, leaving us miserable when we need help the most and draining us of feeling.
What we fear is mediocrity and authority. We fear becoming a soulless, nameless worker struggling for any sort of respite and help, any sort of hope, like so many billions have in the past; we fear that people will force us into a mold, turn us into a clone of their ideal citizen, and end creativity, which so many people thrive on; and we fear that no matter what we do, no matter how hard we fight it, we’ll become our parents.
That last one may sound silly to you, but how many people would loathe that circumstance that aren’t teens? Probably several handfuls, at the least. I wouldn’t entirely mind being like my mother, but my father scares a bit me even to this day, and we’ve made reparations. I fear being like him - a workaholic with only one outlet for stress that doesn’t involve the inflicting of agony and/or fear on oneself and/or others.
And I DO inflict agony on myself. Commonly. I’d rather I was hurt by my own blasted actions than someone else, no matter who that someone else was (with maybe a few exceptions). I consider that noble, in a twisted sense - I consider it the true answer to the stupid “WWJD?” bracelets. Not to compare myself to Him, but isn’t that what He did in the Bible? And yet others call it a mental illness. I’d like to see what those know-it-all b@stards think of Jesus’ mind during the days of the Second Coming.
I also inflict agony on myself because I loathe myself. I loathe my weakness of mind, my weakness of body, and my “barely-capable”ness of spirit. I find myself lacking in all areas of humanity except fallacy, which humans only excel at. Perhaps my standards for myself are too high, and they’re certainly higher than those I hold for others, but by the Hydra’s many heads, if someone doesn’t hold to those standards and try for them, where’s humanity going to go? Down the f***ing toilet, that’s where.
I hold myself to the standards of being better than most, I think, because so few people care about being better. Because so few care about a better world than the one we live in. Because we CAN do better, Godd@mmit, and we can BE better. But if no one tries - if no one decides, “Screw this, I’m gonna carve a better path in this thorny rosebush of life”, then when will we improve?
Ugh, listen to me - I sound like a presidential candidate, not the guy looking at the mind of a teen. But that’s what we want to do, at heart - we want to make the world a better place. Some of us just don’t know how to do that, and misdirect their actions. This leads to us falling into the same traps we try to avoid. This leads to our downfall. That in turn leads to the downfall of everyone else, because when enough people fall, they drag everyone else with them.
I don’t want that. I want improvement. Not just here, not just for myself (although that would be nice). I want it worldwide. I want Muslims and Jews to look each other in the eye, smile, and shake hands, even if the smile is faked. I want China to say, “I suppose the guy who dies with the most power over his country is still dead”, and Japan to say, “Maybe those whales need to stay around so the ecosystem doesn’t just up and die”, and America to say, “Do we really need all these weapons in a time when the UN exists?” I want something better. Don’t we all?
I think I have discovered the core reason behind the sour, dark, angsty mood and demeanor of the stereotypical teenager. If not, I have at least discovered my own reasons. The reason is that it’s a mask. A shield against the slings and arrows of the mind, if you’ll pardon the Shakespeare-ism. Those slings and arrows are self-generated, and they are helplessness, fear, and (at least in my case) weakness.
What we are helpless to is the world. It goes on without a care when we’re down; it sweeps us off our feet without a thought or a pause or even so much as a gentle breaking; and it is cold, harsh, and uncaring, leaving us miserable when we need help the most and draining us of feeling.
What we fear is mediocrity and authority. We fear becoming a soulless, nameless worker struggling for any sort of respite and help, any sort of hope, like so many billions have in the past; we fear that people will force us into a mold, turn us into a clone of their ideal citizen, and end creativity, which so many people thrive on; and we fear that no matter what we do, no matter how hard we fight it, we’ll become our parents.
That last one may sound silly to you, but how many people would loathe that circumstance that aren’t teens? Probably several handfuls, at the least. I wouldn’t entirely mind being like my mother, but my father scares a bit me even to this day, and we’ve made reparations. I fear being like him - a workaholic with only one outlet for stress that doesn’t involve the inflicting of agony and/or fear on oneself and/or others.
And I DO inflict agony on myself. Commonly. I’d rather I was hurt by my own blasted actions than someone else, no matter who that someone else was (with maybe a few exceptions). I consider that noble, in a twisted sense - I consider it the true answer to the stupid “WWJD?” bracelets. Not to compare myself to Him, but isn’t that what He did in the Bible? And yet others call it a mental illness. I’d like to see what those know-it-all b@stards think of Jesus’ mind during the days of the Second Coming.
I also inflict agony on myself because I loathe myself. I loathe my weakness of mind, my weakness of body, and my “barely-capable”ness of spirit. I find myself lacking in all areas of humanity except fallacy, which humans only excel at. Perhaps my standards for myself are too high, and they’re certainly higher than those I hold for others, but by the Hydra’s many heads, if someone doesn’t hold to those standards and try for them, where’s humanity going to go? Down the f***ing toilet, that’s where.
I hold myself to the standards of being better than most, I think, because so few people care about being better. Because so few care about a better world than the one we live in. Because we CAN do better, Godd@mmit, and we can BE better. But if no one tries - if no one decides, “Screw this, I’m gonna carve a better path in this thorny rosebush of life”, then when will we improve?
Ugh, listen to me - I sound like a presidential candidate, not the guy looking at the mind of a teen. But that’s what we want to do, at heart - we want to make the world a better place. Some of us just don’t know how to do that, and misdirect their actions. This leads to us falling into the same traps we try to avoid. This leads to our downfall. That in turn leads to the downfall of everyone else, because when enough people fall, they drag everyone else with them.
I don’t want that. I want improvement. Not just here, not just for myself (although that would be nice). I want it worldwide. I want Muslims and Jews to look each other in the eye, smile, and shake hands, even if the smile is faked. I want China to say, “I suppose the guy who dies with the most power over his country is still dead”, and Japan to say, “Maybe those whales need to stay around so the ecosystem doesn’t just up and die”, and America to say, “Do we really need all these weapons in a time when the UN exists?” I want something better. Don’t we all?