Zero
Prime
All things are possible...
Posts: 3,921
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Post by Zero on Feb 10, 2010 19:39:36 GMT -4
No, no, let's just keep it here. And I'm not looking for advice. I'm looking for insight into the female psyche.
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Post by jackieshay on Feb 11, 2010 14:04:36 GMT -4
I don't mean to be pushing my advice on you, but it seems that the cause of your trouble is that you are putting too much emphasis on love and intimacy. My suggestion would be to put love and intimacy on a low level priority because the harder you look the less likely your gonna find.
Looking for love is like being really hungry at a restaurant and looking for the perfect meal, you keep looking through the menu but you can't find anything that suits what your looking for. In that case you should start sampling the menu, getcha a taste of a few things and you might find what you want and it might even be unexpected.
To put it bluntly, go out and flirt, reel her in and if you like what ya brought home then put her in the sights. It sounds harder than it is.
I remember when I lost my virginity, it was with a friend. Up until that time I was all about the "save it", but two weeks of unspeakable actions made me feel like a new man. Felt alot better, alot more confident, and the nagging "get laid now" feeling left.
I think thats what you need, a release... Living inside your head isn't very healthy if it's the only way you live. Trust me, been there.
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Zero
Prime
All things are possible...
Posts: 3,921
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Post by Zero on Feb 11, 2010 15:43:35 GMT -4
The way I see it, girls are like sand. The one kindred spirit is like a rare pearls. One may be lucky enough to find one, while others may never find one. There are even those who just stumble on one without really looking looking.
Uh, getting laid is the least of my concerns(I thought you knew me better than that, c'mon). I wouldn't want my relationship to be tainted by that kind of mind set. It's poisonous. I truly believe in "saving it", and will to the day I die. Over the top perhaps, but someone has to show some damn integrity for once. Who else will? Celebrities? I think not. What do you mean by "living in my head"?
Intimacy is broad term, and the intimacy I desire is not the physical kind. I just want to be understood.
I try to be a good person, and am hated for it. Online and IRL. In school, I wasn't part of any specific social groups. Not by rejection, but by choice. I disagreed with their view of the world. Only a small few ever came to my defense, though they didn't get it either. Online I asserted my integrity, and as a result was trolled. Some even jump ship. Others stormed away when they could not understand what I was trying to do, let alone appreciate it. In my adulthood, I work hard and give respect to those around me unconditionally. Still, I'm measured and judged due to my age and race(wtf century are we living in?), and then I'm cheated at my job.
All of this makes me alone in my own way. If any of you lived my life, you think you could take it?
...
I think I just had a revelation.
I need to be strong. Despite all that's happened, despite my sadness, I need to press on. Why? Not just for me, but for everyone. My family, friend, co-workers, all of you, anyone who is watching.
Because I can. To prove that it can be done. That any of us can take anything dished out at us.
All things are possible.
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Post by jackieshay on Feb 11, 2010 17:36:43 GMT -4
Sex makes just about everything better, it's not poison if you don't let it become the venom. Your human, you've got that drive whether admitted or not, it may seem all well and good to save it for marriage and if you can do so with success I'll commend you. But holding out for marriage can also ruin a relationship, it's just like alcohol, it can be medicine and it can be poison if you abuse it.
Girls are a bit of a mystery, but most of the time only the heavily religious of females will stick to the idea of sex after marriage. Most girls now days would prefer to have sex before, but after dating for a while.
I'm not suggesting you go around laying every brick you find, but from what I'm seeing in your posts it's about high time for you to do something for yourself. No one is going to think any less of you for spending some quality alone time with a smexy girl!
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Post by Hunter on Feb 11, 2010 18:13:46 GMT -4
I think his problem is that he can't find the right girl with which to be smexy. You're putting the cart before the ho, so to speak.
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Zero
Prime
All things are possible...
Posts: 3,921
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Post by Zero on Feb 11, 2010 18:28:09 GMT -4
Hahaha. You are who you are, and I am who I am. I won't criticize your way, so please let me be with mine. I think I'd be a lot happier if I stuck to my way. I appreciate what you're trying to do, and I certainly do have that drive, but it's just not me. I'm different. I can't help it.
Now, back to my original inquiry:
I wonder what the girls here expect of a man. Not that we'd be hitting on them, but I guess all us guys can stand to learn something from the girls here... if they don't mind throwing us a bone. I'd much prefer if a girl answered this, at least if she feels secure enough in her way to.
This thread is therapeutic for me, so please work with me here.
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Post by White Lightning on Feb 11, 2010 21:12:02 GMT -4
I wonder what the girls here expect of a man. Not that we'd be hitting on them, but I guess all us guys can stand to learn something from the girls here... if they don't mind throwing us a bone. I'd much prefer if a girl answered this, at least if she feels secure enough in her way to. For starters, someone whos kind and willing to support and protect me, but at the same time, willing to stand up and take things like a man and not be a coward or whimp. Someone whos leaned-back but serouis when needed, and someone who has thier prioaties in line and knows what he wants out of life. As in the guys out there that are ready for a full-on relationship and not have a little on the side when they want some.
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Zero
Prime
All things are possible...
Posts: 3,921
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Post by Zero on Feb 27, 2010 23:50:55 GMT -4
I feels like I've had a lump in my throat for the past week. It's associated with the stress.
Isn't the purpose of dating to get to know someone for which to develop a relationship? How can a guy be ready for a full-on relationship without knowing the person of interest?
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Post by White Lightning on Feb 28, 2010 15:00:37 GMT -4
For someone older then me, you sure don't know a lot about love.
Yes, the purpus of dating is getting to know someone before and during a relationship.
People can be prepaired for a relationship long before they ever find that certian person. I've been ready for two or three years and I still haven't found Mr. Right.
Here is some good advice for when you do find someone, bro. A relationship isn't something to have on the side and come back to when you need it. Its a full-on commitment, and you gotta give your share when she gives hers. You can still have "freedom", but keep her as your #1 priority.
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Post by Zoomer on Feb 28, 2010 16:35:41 GMT -4
Just wanted to add a little something here.....
As Michael Scott of the Office once said, "It's not the horniness. It's the loneliness."
I believe that one statement right there sums up the situation quite well. As you both said, it's obviously about getting to know somebody on a certain level. And yes, it's a full-time commitment.....which is why I haven't real had any relationships yet (yeah, that's *totally* why X( ).
Anyway, good luck and keep us posted. :I
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Zero
Prime
All things are possible...
Posts: 3,921
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Post by Zero on Feb 28, 2010 16:37:30 GMT -4
I do know the purpose of dating, and the inner workings of a relationship. I just didn't quite understand your earlier statement.
I'm more interested in the female psyche. Why do some despise men? Why do other play mind games? Why do some act so in securely?
After my experiences, I've become someone who doesn't like being taken for a ride, and will avoid it at all costs.
It seems I may be suffering a form of General Anxiety Disorder. I may be blowing my worries out of proportion, or taking myself too seriously. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if the past forum drama contributed to it as well. Some common sense action could relieve the stress, but I'm having a hard time letting go. I don't wanna not care.
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Post by Zoomer on Mar 2, 2010 18:52:24 GMT -4
Meditation might help.....20 minutes of silence in a comfortable position. You basically want to empty and cleanse your mind of all thoughts.
Also, I know it's been said you don't like the thought of meds, but have you ever thought that a physical problems might even possibly exist? It may have been there, and just made things worse. You should be open to the possibility of seeing a psychiatrist for some form of therapy, even if you forgo the pills.
You should also consider your family history, since I recently found out mine has a history of anxiety, depression, and addictions (sorry, this is about you and not me, I know).
I hope you find a solution that works for you. :I
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Zero
Prime
All things are possible...
Posts: 3,921
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Post by Zero on Mar 2, 2010 19:16:03 GMT -4
Hm... what runs in my family. Heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and... schizophrenia.
I got more bad news today. One of the managers brought another friend in and had him trained to my job at another machine. So now my job security is gone, and I've been reduced to just another set of hands. I've had the feeling of a lump in my throat for the last few days. I found several grey hairs too. Can you imagine what is must be like to be deliberately stripped of purpose? Personal value diminished?
I use to love my job. Now I can't stand it. The only thing that motivates me to keep that biased job is not to starve.
I did however begin to look at further schooling. I already scheduled a meeting at one of the colleges. It may not go anywhere, but at least I have some hope.
Still, even now I'm on the brink of a total breakdown. Talking about it has kept me from falling over the edge completely.
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Zero
Prime
All things are possible...
Posts: 3,921
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Post by Zero on Mar 6, 2010 15:22:38 GMT -4
Bump. Update.
I got over my anger with my job. I just don't care anymore, so I'm not gonna work as hard. I went to my college meeting today, and after assessing my current skills, they advised that I get into business management, specifically marketing and advertising. I can be creative and use it in almost anything. No limits.
Cost however was intimidating for me, but after an explanation of how financial aid work, I feel more confident about it. The key is to stick to what you want to do, see it through to the end, and paying back loans won't be a problem. Most people who find themselves in horrible debt are those who couldn't stick to their goals.
All the stops signs are pulled down, and I'm not afraid anymore.
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Terminator
Resident
Just came from Chernobyl...
Posts: 206
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Post by Terminator on Mar 6, 2010 16:28:45 GMT -4
Hm... what runs in my family. Heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and... schizophrenia. OMFG you're unlucky.
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