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Aug 13, 2009 23:53:36 GMT -4
Post by White Lightning on Aug 13, 2009 23:53:36 GMT -4
My life seems to have taken a huge drive down a hill. Dispite the fact that both my parents have a job, we still can't pay our rent and bills on time. My dad is doing all he can, but...it so hard to deal with. The internet may get cut off soon, so if you don't see me for a while, you'll know what happened.
I've been way too depressed lately. Even now as I type this, I am comtemplating on suicide, or at least cutting myself. Thats how bad it is. Seems like I will never get out of this nightmare at all.
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Aug 13, 2009 23:58:25 GMT -4
Post by Zero on Aug 13, 2009 23:58:25 GMT -4
You are NOT going to cut yourself. You have got to be stronger than that.
If losing internet is what it takes to help get your family out of this slump, then you should be willing to make that sacrifice. We'll know why, and we'll understand.
You can do it. You'll survive!
I believe in you.
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Aug 13, 2009 23:59:50 GMT -4
Post by White Lightning on Aug 13, 2009 23:59:50 GMT -4
Brother...
Thankyou for the faith.
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Aug 14, 2009 0:03:18 GMT -4
Post by Zoomer on Aug 14, 2009 0:03:18 GMT -4
What will you leave them with? That's one more problem if you're gone. Do you know how that would hurt your family? So for their sakes, don't do it!
Do what you can to help.....that's all I can say.
We'll miss you if you do leave, but we'll understand. Let it go.....the internet isn't all there is to life.
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Aug 14, 2009 4:24:27 GMT -4
Post by Jakob on Aug 14, 2009 4:24:27 GMT -4
I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but laugh at your "contemplations of suicide and/or cutting yourself"
I used to have those thoughts myself, not of cutting, of course. If I cut myself, I damage my bodily functions that I'd rather use for something useful, like doing push-ups, or lifting cars, or swinging wrenches at dudes wearing diving suits. Not creating a situation where first-aid is required and thus ultimately wasted.
And suicide? I thought about all the different methods that's possible, and all of them leave some kind of mess for another person to clean up. If you really want to commit self-harm, at least do it with decency and make it impossible for others to be bothered with the clean-up afterward.
I may be sounding like a bit of an punk, but that's exactly how I thought when I was in a situation almost exactly like yours. (IE, the fact that you're still not managing the rent.)
If you want to relieve anger, find something punch-able, or do something to improve your physical health. You can't force mental health onto yourself by yourself, you need a healthy body to function in order to spread said health to your mind. Can't have one without the other, unless you're an Artificial Intelligence of some kind.
Of course, such advanced technology is only in its "infant" stages right now. It'll still be a while before we start converting actual human brains into supercomputers.
You should get a job. If you don't have a job, get to working out and improve your functions so you may be more efficient at your job or future job.
I lost interest in thinking for the long-term future when sh*t started hitting the fan. I just concentrated on small plans to help boost confidence, and THEN I take on bigger plans.
In my case, I plan to write a book. How will I write a book? With the right hardware and software. What's the primary hardware objective? A laptop. How do I get a laptop? Earn money. How do I earn money? My job. How do I do my job well and keep said job? Be healthy. How do I be healthy? I can haz fish I exercise, and train in my Kung Fu classes.
Even if I didn't have video games, I could just sit and daydream (on my spare time, of course) and I could think of cool stuff to brainstorm on. While I forget them almost immediately after, it helps clear my mind to improve efficiency.
Be efficient, do not damage yourself. After all, body damage doesn't heal fully... ever...
Trust me, I know. I pulled a tendon in my foot years ago and it still tends to irritate me on occasion today.
TL;DR: Don't sweat too much, or you'll start attracting wasps.
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Aug 14, 2009 5:42:04 GMT -4
Post by tachyon on Aug 14, 2009 5:42:04 GMT -4
^ Jakob, work on your people skills.
Kayla, DO NOT make me fly back over there, because you know I would if I could. If your internets get cut, what loss is that? We'll still be here waiting, and you've got my address to send snail mail to if you want to keep us all informed. I'm not much good at emotional stuff, but I think you need to remain optimistic about everything. It doesn't do much good being anything else.
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Aug 14, 2009 14:47:12 GMT -4
Post by White Lightning on Aug 14, 2009 14:47:12 GMT -4
Ok, well, we get to keep the internet untill the end of the month, and by then, my parents get paid anyways!
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Aug 14, 2009 15:36:26 GMT -4
Post by Zero on Aug 14, 2009 15:36:26 GMT -4
That's a nice cushion of time. Now would be a good time to start penny pinching.
I know another person who's having a hard time financially. I asked her, "What would you be willing to give up to save money?"
What would you do?
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Aug 14, 2009 19:54:29 GMT -4
Post by Jakob on Aug 14, 2009 19:54:29 GMT -4
^ Jakob, work on your people skills. Call me candid.
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Aug 14, 2009 21:06:09 GMT -4
Post by Zero on Aug 14, 2009 21:06:09 GMT -4
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Aug 14, 2009 21:41:23 GMT -4
Post by Jakob on Aug 14, 2009 21:41:23 GMT -4
Something tells me that what I said did not come across as something that was meant to try to help.
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Aug 14, 2009 22:07:07 GMT -4
Post by White Lightning on Aug 14, 2009 22:07:07 GMT -4
There is, however, one quote from Final Fantasy X that is keeping me from killing myself...
Now! This is it! Now is the time to choose! Die and be free of pain, or live and fight your sorrow! Now is the time to shape your stories! Your fate is in your hands! - Auron
I feel better now, and more stronger knowing that I have all of you to turn to. Words can not express my thankfulness.
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Aug 14, 2009 22:24:01 GMT -4
Post by Hunter on Aug 14, 2009 22:24:01 GMT -4
Something tells me that what I said did not come across as something that was meant to try to help. Let me put it this way: after I read that post, I was half-expecting you to helpfully inform her that "it's down the road, not across the street. Make it count!"
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Aug 14, 2009 22:27:28 GMT -4
Post by tachyon on Aug 14, 2009 22:27:28 GMT -4
That was not the word floating around my head at the time. Regardless, at least you were trying. And Good to hear you feeling all better WL.
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Terminator
Resident
Just came from Chernobyl...
Posts: 206
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Help...
Nov 23, 2009 0:28:58 GMT -4
Post by Terminator on Nov 23, 2009 0:28:58 GMT -4
Like Kyle Reese said, "You must be stronger than you imagine you can be."
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