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Post by Jessie Winkler on May 15, 2011 23:41:39 GMT -4
Some of them are, but not my best ones. Like I said, I just feel a connection to him that I don't to anyone else.
I'm not a recreational dater. I'm not one of those girls that feels like she has to have a boyfriend to live. I've got enough of those in my life. XD You gotta remember though; I'm barely 19. Most these days get married around their mid-20s. I'm too young to be considering marriage with anyone.
You dated for 6 months. My parents dated for 6 YEARS before getting married.
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Zero
Prime
All things are possible...
Posts: 3,921
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Post by Zero on May 15, 2011 23:52:54 GMT -4
Then you see how different it is for most of us. You are also very rational.
No matter what happens, we're right behind you Jess. Don't be afraid, do what feels right, and whether or not he requites to your feelings, be proud that you were able to take that leap.
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Post by Jessie Winkler on May 16, 2011 0:05:10 GMT -4
Then you see how different it is for most of us. I'm not sure what you mean here. But I'm still not sure HOW I'm supposed to do it. Should I be subtle? Should I ask him to hang out, or should I flat out ask him out on a date? Should I just tell him I like him? I don't know how to do this right.
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Zero
Prime
All things are possible...
Posts: 3,921
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Post by Zero on May 16, 2011 0:12:15 GMT -4
I flat out told Jenny that I liked her. She was surprised and wanted to know why, so I told her. We didn't actually start to date until a week later. This is what worked for me.
You don't have to ask him out on a date right away. Tell him you like him, and that you want to get to know him better. That way you don't make a strong commitment, nor do you appear desperate.
Do you think that could work for you?
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Post by Damion / Xerox on May 16, 2011 0:12:55 GMT -4
Well, before i finally confessed my emotions to my sweetheart, i started being her friend first. Maybe try that. Get to know him, and let him get to know you. And, if you still feel very strongly for him, confess how you really feel.
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Post by Jessie Winkler on May 16, 2011 0:15:37 GMT -4
She was surprised and wanted to know why? What do you mean? Sorry, I must sound really stupid for not getting this; I just want to make sure I do this right (since obviously last time I didn't). EDIT: Also, I worry that if I DO become his friend first, I'll fall into the friend trap (that's all he'll see me as).
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Post by Damion / Xerox on May 16, 2011 1:02:20 GMT -4
EDIT: Also, I worry that if I DO become his friend first, I'll fall into the friend trap (that's all he'll see me as). I can see how that might be a fear, but i'm very sure that if a guy likes you, and he wasn't gay, he'd probably want to be with you as much as possible... ... unless he's a chauvinistic neanderthal jerk, but from the way you described him, that seems unlikely.
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Zero
Prime
All things are possible...
Posts: 3,921
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Post by Zero on May 16, 2011 1:09:33 GMT -4
It's okay Jess. Most of what you fear is the same stuff my fiancé was afraid of. The friend trap comes with any potential romantic relationship. It's part of the risk. You can't let that hold you back. I liked Jenny because she gave me the time of day. We had the same likes, dislikes, beliefs, and we're both nerds. I couldn't stop thinking about her. I thought she was so cute and sweet, and I wanted to know more about her. This was how I answered her. Much like you, I felt a strong connection to her, and I didn't want to let her slip by. So I took a leap of faith. Don't feel bad feeling you don't know what you are doing. I didn't know what I was doing either. You are not stupid Jessie. You just need to overcome your fears.
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Post by Damion / Xerox on May 16, 2011 1:16:54 GMT -4
It's okay Jess. Most of what you fear is the same stuff my fiancé was afraid of. The friend trap comes with any potential romantic relationship. It's part of the risk. You can't let that hold you back. I liked Jenny because she gave me the time of day. We had the same likes, dislikes, beliefs, and we're both nerds. I couldn't stop thinking about her. I thought she was so cute and sweet, and I wanted to know more about her. This was how I answered her. Much like you, I felt a strong connection to her, and I didn't want to let her slip by. So I took a leap of faith. Don't feel bad feeling you don't know what you are doing. I didn't know what I was doing either. I totally agree with this. Jessie, you should probably just go for it, like Zero said. Take your leap of faith and see where things go. We're all behind you on it, and we're all rooting for you.
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Post by Jessie Winkler on May 23, 2011 0:05:44 GMT -4
Okay. I'm going to see his show next week. Should I try talking to him then?
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Zero
Prime
All things are possible...
Posts: 3,921
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Post by Zero on May 23, 2011 20:16:13 GMT -4
Don't try. Do it.
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Post by Jessie Winkler on May 23, 2011 22:45:01 GMT -4
What should I say? Any ideas? I'm worried I'll say the wrong thing.
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Post by Damion / Xerox on May 24, 2011 2:46:49 GMT -4
What should I say? Any ideas? I'm worried I'll say the wrong thing. Maybe start out with "Hi, my name is (INSERT REAL NAME HERE). Nice to meet you." Or, if you don't want to do the old fashioned method above, maybe start with a joke before introducing yourself. If you don't know a good joke, maybe ask him an opinion based question. Ex. "Excuse me, are you a fan of (INSERT MOVIE, BAND, GAME TITLE HERE)?" or perhaps: "Hello. Quick question. I was wondering what your thoughts were on (global economy, religion, a famous book, a certain event in the world, etc)"
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Post by Jessie Winkler on May 24, 2011 12:02:22 GMT -4
Okay. I already know him though. I've talked to him a couple of times.
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Post by Damion / Xerox on May 24, 2011 13:52:24 GMT -4
Okay. I already know him though. I've talked to him a couple of times. Oh, i probably missed that. Well, that changes everything. Jess, just act like your talking to him normally. Talk about the show, even. And, maybe if the time feels right, ask him if he'd like to go out with you sometime. And, yeah, like Zero said: Listen to the modern day Yoda, Jess.
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